Loser Tales
by Darkbloodtwist
Summary: /Random/ Tsukasa's early mornings turn into another lost to a point dialouge page. Floating pieces of trash and reuniting boots...Chap 2 up.
1. Floating piece of trash

A/N: I don't own anything. Except the plot…..and some more…………………………=)

                                   ~*~ 

**Floating piece of trash**: Tsukasa……………………………..(does ghost like shriek) TSUKASA! WAKE UP!

**Tsukasa**: I'm awake! (slaps the floating piece of trash unconsciously)

**Floating piece of trash:** You know what? I'm sick of this? Everyday I wake you up and this is WHAT I GET!? I quit!

**Tsukasa:** Nooooooooooooooo………………………………..why all the torture. I already miss your rancid reeking of old socks and crusty egg……………..:(

**Floating piece of trash:** ……………………………………..that was………………uh……………….sweet…………………………yeah……..sure. (looks around nervously)

**Tsukasa:** I swear I could change!!

**Floating piece of trash:** Nope, too late. Syonara witch boy.

**Tsukasa:** (hurries up out of bed, and tried to help) Here! A piece of dung just stood out, let me help you put it back!

**Floating piece of trash:** No! That's my heart you bastard! (shrivels up and dumps itself on him)

**Tsukasa: **(turns purple) ack…………..reeking…………dying…………………(shrivels up as well)

**Mimiru****: This again? Baka! (uses revival potion on him, but nothing happens) Get! up! (starts slapping him around, continuously)**

**Tsukasa:** (is awake but buried under the trash) (struggles) I. Am. Awake!

**Mimiru****: (continues to slap him for the heck of it) Hey, this is fun. Just like the old days…………………….hm…………….**

(Flashback) 

(which was exactly hours ago when Mimiru woke him up for the fun of it, so she could have a flashback now) 

(But funnier) 

**Mimiru****: (takes his hand)**

**Tsukasa:** (Looks all lovey dovey eyed) 

**Mimiru****: (Starts slapping him with his hand) Why're you hitting yourself? Why're you hitting yourself?**

-Giggles obnoxiously-

(Un-Flashingback)

**Mimiru****: (sigh) fun times………………………….**

**Tsukasa:** (rubbing his cheek with a 7 day old meat from the junk heap) Yeah…..for you maybe……………….

**Bear:** (pops up from nowhere) (gasp)You found my 7 day old meat! Are you gonna eat that?

**Tsukasa:** (Gasp) It's bug infested

**Bugs:** (is doing a square dance on the meat)

**Bear:** Yeah, well, when you have a son, it gets kinda hard. Eh?

**Mimiru****: Hmmm…………………(lightbulb)**

**Bear:** (takes the visible lightbulb and turns it off)

**Mimiru****: You can try slapping Tsukasa. It always takes my stress away. And with him under the now- Unfloating pile of trash, we can slap him all we want, and he won't do a thing. =)**

**Bear:** (starts slapping him hard) Hey this is fun……………………! Hey guys join us!

**B.T & Sora & Kurim:** (pop up from nowhere and starts slapping him unitedly)

**Subara****: (pops up after, and joins in)**

**Tsukasa:** (Gasp) You too!?

**Subara****: I'm sorry, but it's hard being me! I have to sit by my throne, and JUST let those mind slaves, in which I call the knights, take care of me! (whines) It's hard………………..**

**Tsukasa:** But why not on Mimiru?

**Subara****: She's a girl. Girl power. **

**Krim****: No………………….not girl power. Flower Power. War not Peace. **

**Bear:** Isn't it Peace not War? 

**Krim****: Yeah……………………….but my way sounds like so much more. **

**Bear:** Hm…………yeah, it does have a certain tune to it.

**Krim**: So let us follow the laws of Flower Power, and engage in "War not Peace".

-throws a stick at Sora-

**Krim**: I don't like you.

-is knocked by a grumpy boot-

**Boot:** Why can't we just love? SO much violence?

-boot starts weeping-

**Mimiru****: Aww………………..there, there. (take out the shoe shiner)**

-shines him-

**Boot:** Looooovvvveeeeee. Ah that's the loving…………….mmm………………..

**Mimiru****: (backs away, as does everyone else)**

**Boot:** Ha! Ha! Ha! You found you secret identity! I am really- THAT VOICE IN THE SKY, THAT NO ONE KNOWS, OR WHAT IT DOES! For I am—Evil Boot!

-laughs manically- 

**Boot:** (Releases a mix of sweat and body odor)

**Mimiru****: (sweatdropping) Oh dear lord bessy, with onion rings, and a slab of hamburger meat n the side. Preferably with a side salad. =)**

**Good Boot:** (appears out of nowhere) Evil boot? 

**Evil Boot:** Good Boot?

-reunites into A PAIR of boots-

**B.T.:** Ah…………………..the Good, and Evil boots have reunited into one pair, and the balance of the world is restored.

**Tsukasa:** (still under the trash) Only until our next adventure! (laughs, like they do in anime at the end)

-no one laughs-

**Tsukasa:** Okie maybe not……………………………………..

**Mimiru****: We were going to help you out from under the trash……………………………….but, eh, nah. Bye, bye!**

-everyone logs out-

**Tsukasa: **Well this just sucks. -_-*

 _A/N: Whooooooooooaaaaaaaaaah. I don't know if you guys like it. I doubt that you will, or do. This took my exactly, or near half an hour. Fun? Disappointing? Or just plain degrading? If so, dial 1-800- LOSER. If you hear a laugh track in the background (plays laugh track), you have been tricked. Have fun! _

_                                                                                                                      -The Authoress. _


	2. Gummi or Gummy

Loser Tales….PART 2

A/N: I'm only doing this because I got so much reviews…._dang I'm loved…**now give me money**_**. Pronto….I'm not lying…gimme. **Okay, okay, I'm lying… (0_o) _or am I? _

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**Mimiru: **_Tsukasa! Where are you?_

**Tsukasa: **Here! WHERE YOU LEFT ME LAST TIME! …..UNDER THE GARBAGE!

**Mimiru: **_Now…_I don't remember that……………_or do I?_

**Tsukasa: **IT WAS ONLY 2 MINUTES AGO! 

**Mimiru: **_What? Moi? I would never do such a thing to youuuuuu._

**Tsukasa: **Really? You wouldn't? 

**Mimiru: **(looks all enchanted) I would _never_.  

-winks to the audience-

**Mimiru: **_Never._

**Tsukasa: **aww……..that's so swee--- THEN WHY AM I STUCK UNDER THE GARBAGE?

**Mimiru: **Beats me…………._or is it….._beats you?

**Tsukasa: **BEATS YOU! (points at Mimiru, to beat her) BEATS YOU

**Mimiru: **What? Beats you? (points at Tsukasa)

**Tsukasa: **Yes, of course, beats me….NO I MEAN BEATS YOU

**Mimiru: **Beats you?

**Tsukasa: **_NOOOO! I _mean------you-------- what-----(sigh) fine, fine…._beats me…._ -_-

**Bear: **(pops up from nowhere) Yo!

**Mimiru: **(shakes head in disappointment) trying _so_ hard to be young…….for shame Bear, for shame……….

**Bear: **dag yo…….dag……(shakes head in disappointment) For shame Me, for shame……… 

**Mimiru: **Okies. Now amscray. Must beat up Tsukasa.

**Bear: **For shame Tsukasa………_for shame_…………..

**Tsukasa: **I didn't do anything!

**Bear: **(continues to shake head) for shame…….

**Mimiru: **Now……._we begin_……..

-takes his hand adoringly-

**Tsukasa: **_Mimiru?_

**Mimiru: **Tsukasa……….there's some things I best not say……..but this time……..I must, as well as letting the actions speak for themselves………………

**Tsukasa: **_What are you saying Mimiru?_ (lovey dovey eyed)

**Mimiru: **Ahem…………..(beings slapping him with his hand) Why're you hitting yourself? Why're you hitting yourself?

**Tsukasa: **Didn't you do that in chapter 1? 

**Mimiru: **Yes………………………..(sighs) fun times…………

**Sora:** Yo! 

**Mimiru:** _See Bear! _Sora can pull _that_ off! Now why can't you?

**Bear:** dag, yo. For shame Me………_for shame_.

**Sora:** Oo---Tsukasa! Gimme your address! Gimme, gimme, _gummi_!

**Tsukasa:** Gummi?

**Sora:** Yes…………_gummy_ (Proceeds to lick his blades) See? _Gummy_.

**Tsukasa:** Oh cool! (pops up from under the garbage and starts licking his blades)

**Mimiru:** Hey! I thought you were stuck under there!

**Tsukasa:** Erm…..um………Yeah……I thought I was….um….stuck under there too. (starts stretching) Well looking here! I'm out……IT'S A MIRACLE! (starts praying at an altar)

**Mimiru:** (looks at the garbage) This is………why! _This is Gummy!_

-large hole gnawed through the garbage-

**Mimiru:** Gummy? 0_o (starts thwacking Tsukasa)

**Sora: **(starts knowing a hole in his blades)

**Blades: **(screams in a Silent Movie sort of way)

**Sora:** Damn………its in pain now……

-out from nowhere smoke starts to appear-

**Voice in the Smoke: **Muahahahaaha! 

**Sora: **He stole my evil laugh…………_I live for my evil laugh!_ (starts charging at the Voice)

-bounces back-

**Sora:** That was odd………

**Voice:** You can never pierce me! For I am!

-a red cloth is _swished_ aside-

**Voice:** For I am---- (takes an embarrassingly long time to get ready) _Ahem_. For I am--- GUMMI MAN!

**Mimiru:** Oh dear lord! (faints into the gummi garbage, and bounces back, like elastic)

**Gummi-Man:** HAHA! Now I shall call upon my minions! (does random hand movement) Rise! 

-Gummi garbage, and Blade gummi begins to rise, and is animated into Barney, and a sack of Potatoes-

**Gummi-Man:** ATTAX---hehe………I mean……ATTACK!

**Barney Gummy: **I wuv you! You wuv me! Something and something makes Herbal Tea, with a great big…………hug. And a kiss from me to you. Won't you say I farted too?

**Bear:** Oh the humanity! (covers his ears and jumps into a waterfall)

-Bear elevates from the water-

**Bear:** dag yo……………dag.

-then submerges once again-

**Sora- **I'm too beautiful to die. Log out! (attempts to log out)

-nothing happens-

**Sora:** ahem…._Log out!_(nothing happens) o_0……(jumps) ACK! 

**Mimiru:** Haha! You can't log out! (tries to log out) Damn……

**Tsukasa:** Oh! (taps his staff) Oh horah. 

**Thingy from the staff: **(bubbles in an acid way) MMUUUOOOOAAAAAAA. (absorbs the Gummi's army)

**Tsukasa: **Well that was easy…

**Mimiru:** 0_0

**Tsukasa:** _I said: _Well….that was easy!

**Sora:** O_O

**Tsukasa:** What happened? 

-Mimiru slides his head in the direction she's looking in-

**Thingy from the staff:** (grows bigger, and gurgles)

**Sora:** Well………I'm out! (logs out while the Thingy is not loking)

**Tsukasa: **Well……what a wimp right, Mimiru?

-looks around for Mimiru, realizing that she logged out long ago-

**Tsukasa:** _Bear?_

****

**-**see's rings submerging into the waters-

**Tsukasa:** _dag yo….dag._

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A/N: please do not be alarmed. If you are a optimist: Tsukasa and the Thingy from the staff made friends, and the Thingy spit out the Gummi army, and they all became friends. =)

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**Mimiru:** (logs back on) Tsukasa?

**Tsukasa: **(now a Chocobo) Oh the pain……

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Annual ranting: I feel so bad, since my last chapter was such a success………I feel like such a crappy writer! (brawls) well, maybe because I am………so on so forth. Oh well, I need a boost of moral, so review. Por favor! 


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